Recently I read “Predictably Irrational– the hidden forces that shape our decisions”by Dan Ariely, who is James B. Duke Professor of Psychology and Behavioural Economics at Duke University and a founding member of the Centre for Advanced Hindsight. He carries out research in the fields of behavioural economics and decision making. In his book Dan explains; how we humans make our daily day-to-day life decisions, how we choose between Aor B and what drives us to settle on a choice that we make. Dan, in his book, explains; how our mind compares and weighs between choices that are present before us and what drives us towards making a decision which our mind deems is easy, achievable and comfortable, through various classroom experiments.

On last Sunday, my friend purchased a new car; a base model hatchback with common features. He invited me to test drive it. I hopped in the driving seat and took the car for a ride with him seated next to me. Once we started on the road; my friend and the owner of this new car which I was driving started explaining all the features his car has, inbuilt infotainment system, rear side camera, up-hill assist, etc. I was thoroughly enjoying the feel of the new car the way the steering felt, the nimbleness of the vehicle in traffic until a thought popped up in my head, “How wonderful this new car feels, my car just does not drive this way!” Boom!!!!The bubble of happiness had busted and I was immediately comparing this new car of my colleague with the 11yrs old machine I drive to office.My mind had transported me to this alternate reality where:-

“I was not happy with my old car anymore.”

How could this have happened??? From that point of thought onwards, I STOPPED ENJOYING the feel of the new car which I was still driving, rather I filled myself with disdain.

My old car is in great shape- it has no mechanical issues, works just fine and takes me from point A to point B COMFORTABLY. In my head I know all these FACTS but yet somehow in my mind the neurons triggered and in my mind I made connections between this new car, which I was driving, to the old one I had at my disposal whenever I DESIRED.

“COMPARISON is the THIEF of JOY”is what I was experiencing at that given moment. Most of us face this dilemma in our day-to-day life where we compare our jobs, our assets, our bank balance, or the thrill of our vacations with others. After the boom of internet and this age of SOCIAL MEDIA and REELS, our quality of LIFE is the first thing we compare. Wait, let me explain by giving an example;

Let’s assume I want a gym subscription, just for the sake of having an active lifestyle. Hence, I get one in a local gym near my place and start attending daily workout sessions. It has been a month and I am regular for my workout session at the new gym. Meanwhile, I meet new people at the gym, make some friends and start working out with them. Now subconsciously I have compared myself with my gym buddies; their workout schedule or their supplementation program and their food consumption habits. I also start following INFLUENCERS and TRAINERS online. Now I have got myself dragged into a “COMPARISON TRAP”; where I am comparing the way my body looks and performs on a physical level. In doing so, I have lost the track of “Why I have purchased a GYM subscription in the first place!” which to begin with was just to be active. I have also started feeling depressed because of the way my body looks I, Am I too fat? Or Why cannot I enjoy my favourite meal because it has high calories! I have lost the way I was rather than feeling good about myself. I have had disgruntled feeling “Why can’t my body look like him or her in the mirror!” This surge of false emotions experienced by me, which is unhealthy, was because I compared myself with someone else. And in doing so, I have deprived myself of the potential benefits of working out in the gym. I have substituted my choice of indulging in an active lifestyle to a misery filled one by comparing myself with other individuals. I unknowingly and unwillingly I have compared my situation (without a proper evaluation) with other individuals and made a mess. In a nutshell “I lost my QUALITY of life”.

#Comparison Trap????

We freely have a plethora of DATA at our figure tips on our cell phone screens via internet connectivity. This tiny gadget has become an extension of our body and an indispensable one in our daily life. Most of us have social media accounts and it is a ritual to follow SOCIAL INFLUENCERS on various social media handles. Follow their daily life hacks to improve the quality of our life. In doing so, we unknowingly fall prey to the COMPARISON TRAP. Where, as explained in the above example, we subconsciously compare or lives with others. But nobody has a perfect life, not even the people who post fancy videos and photos; clicked at remotest of locations on earth with breath-taking views. Most of the time we do not witness the complete picture as the camera only captures what is in focus and not the journey of the person holding one in hand.

#So how one should steer clear of the very basic nature of our brain to compare?

It is simple:-just ask “QUESTIONS”. For example: – Why do I need this? Or How do I get there? What is this really about? Or Is this the right way to attain what I want? What is the process to attain this? Am I really up for it? By asking such QUESTIONSto ourselves, we get a clearer picture of what the GENUINE nature of our COMPARISON is. When we ask questions, we also find out WHAT we RIGHTFULLY require. So keep asking questions until an ANSWERis found. When the true ANSWER is found, the questions stop. Only a calm and clearer can navigate the labyrinth of “COMPARISON TRAP. “

These are some of my thoughts about COMPAREand what we should practice to avoid this COMPARISON TRAP. Until next week.

Thank you.